your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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