Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm always down for nudity.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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