i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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