is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
