i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
