I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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