walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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