Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
