My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
