I just saw a hot homeless man
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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