I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
