He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
