yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dignity is for republicans.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize