I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
