Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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