i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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