maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
