She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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