i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you win again, gameday.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
