you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
