their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize