He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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