I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
