You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
