He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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