its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
