her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
