There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
