Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
