I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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