listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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