Already got asked if we're dating
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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