Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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