I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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