Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
