..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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