do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
