You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Boobs speak an international language.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize