College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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