KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
