She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think my vagina is haunted
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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