I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So vagazzling was a success
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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