Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
