im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize