Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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