last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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