i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
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