Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
