I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
