I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
should my penis look like a turkey
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
