So drunk its hurt
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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