Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
