Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
