What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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