perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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