grandma shit on top of the toilet
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
