my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
