this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
