We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
it glows. i had to have it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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