I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
